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Who we’re not

PETA UK = Practical Ergonomic & Therapeutic Aids (founded 1975)

P.E.T.A. = People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (founded 1980)

We are PETA UK. We design, manufacture, and supply a range of ergonomic tools, aids and assistive devices for sufferers of arthritis and other conditions resulting in reduced grip strength.

However, it should also be pointed out that – while we don’t go out of our way to maim small animals – we are not in any way associated with the organization known as P.E.T.A. or PeTA.

We just thought we should clear that up in order to stem the flow of phone calls, emails and letters similar to the following…

Phone Call

PETA: “PETA Easi-Grip, good afternoon.”

Caller: “Hello, yes, sorry to put you on the spot, but I’ve got a new girlfriend and she’s coming over for dinner tonight and I wondered if you could maybe help out?”

PETA: “Um, I’m not quite sure what you mean…”

Caller: “Recipes. She’s a vegetarian and I was wondering if you had any recipes.”

PETA: “I’m sorry, sir, you have the wrong organisation. We’re PETA UK.”

Caller: “Oh. And what do you do?”

PETA: “We sell knives and scissors.”

Caller: “Oh. So you’re not the ethical to animals people then?”

PETA: “No.”

Caller: “Oh. Do you have their number?”

PETA: “No, I’m sorry.”

Caller: “Oh. OK. I’ll just go to the library. Thanks.”
*click*

Email

Dear PETA,

I have seen stalls for yourselves and the SHAC in town and at other places. I would very much like to set up a stall of my own and wonder if you have any pictures you could send me by email so I can print them.

Also, do you need permission or a lisence to run an animal rights stall? If you do, I am a respected and presentable young member of my community and I am a vegetarian and I have never harmed an animal ever and would very much like to run one.

It makes me unhappy anytime an animal suffers, and I want to reach out to some of the farmers in the local villages to help them see sense.

Thank you.

Jenny

Email

DEAR LOONYS,

NICE TO SEE YOU HAVE A WEB SITE. THAT RUNS ON ELECTRICITY. THAT COMES FROM COAL-BURING OR NUCLEAR STATIONS THAT HARM THE ENVIRONMENT AND KILL ANIMALS. BET YOU DIDN’T SOP TO THINK OF THAT, DID YOU? HYPOCRITES!

Anon

Letter

Dear PeTA UK,

I was shocked and horrified to receive your latest catalogue, which featured a knife slicing MEAT on the front cover! As a long-time supporter of PeTA, I’m shocked that you would be allowed to promote your products in such a callous and unthinking manner.

I am returning your catalogue to you, and have sent a photocopy of it to your head office in London, asking them to take appropriate action.

How you could have allowed this to happen mystifies me. I hope they take away your franchise!

Sincerely,

Xxxxxxx Xxxx

Email

Dear PeTA,

I’ve tried to stop drinking milk, but I really love milkshakes, and I know that McDonalds treats animals terribly, but I hear that their ‘shakes’ are called that because don’t have any milk in them, is it OK to drink them?

Sandra Xxxxxxxx

Email

If any of you ******* ***** hassle me again when I want to relax with a spot of fishing, I will not be held responsible for my actions. And I carry a knife. You have been warned.

Anon

Email

Dear PeTA people,

Please try to stop breathing. I hear some cockroaches in Bangladesh are short of oxygen.

Anon

Email

Dear PETA,

Your great. Keep up the good work and don’t let ignorant people get you down.

Thomas Xxxx